February 22, 2007 by Lani Voivod, Chief Scribbler.

Here’s an exercise I’ve come across in many variations over the years, and it always packs some serious punch.

1. Find a scathingly negative journal entry. You know, one of those gems in which you explain in great detail all the worst features of your life, talent (or lack thereof), job, frustrations, marriage/relationships, misery, laziness, lost dreams, bad habits, or the whole hurricane of your aching innards.

2. Now, FLIP IT. We’re talking global “Find and Replace” function. Take every single negative word or riff and replace it with its polar opposite. Be thorough and honest. Use Thesaurus.com and abuse the “antonym” lists, if necessary.

3. Polish and shine the FLIPPED version and read it ‘til it’s burnt in your brain! Sure, you laughed and scoffed while you wrote it. And yes, it may have felt fiercely uncomfortable to write such winning things about yourself. But c’mon – it only sounds so good because it was sooooo wicked ‘n cruel in the first place!

And please, don’t discount this Craft-Caddy trick as a silly Stuart Smalley affirmation. It’s the easiest, most direct way to see what you really want if, say, you weren’t suffering from “The Writer Mystique” (among other things). And maybe, just maybe, you’ll start trying your new “REALITY” on for size…(!!!)

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February 12, 2007 by Lani Voivod, Chief Scribbler.

“Writing is a solitary occupation. Family, friends, and society are the natural enemies of the writer. He must be alone, uninterrupted, and slightly savage if he is to sustain and complete an undertaking.”

-Jessamyn West

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February 2, 2007 by Lani Voivod, Chief Scribbler.

Defining Our Nation’s “Writer Mystique” Epidemic and Its Three Most Empathy-Worthy Victims

There are doctors. Lawyers. Ventriloquists. There are geologists, dog stylists, hand models, tugboat engineers, and ostrich farmers.

There are a whole lotta different hats to wear in this great big world of ours. But no hat beckons the quantum wrath quite like the one that bears the word “WRITER.”

Honestly, serial killers undergo less scrutiny for their interests. And what’s worse, when the inevitable “Oh? What do you write?” volleys from skeptical inquirers, Writers – who prefer to duck behind carefully chosen words, phrases, and comebacks in the first place – are forced to stutter through some imbecilic justification of their existence (which, frankly, never passes muster).

“Me? Oh, well, I, uh, I’m working on…Hmmm. Well, you see, one of the projects is kind of – oh, I’m not making my living as a Writer quite yet. I’m really just a [insert day job here].”

This socially awkward hoedown is just one of the hallmarks of “The Writer Mystique.”

What IS “The Writer Mystique”?
It’s a bizarre, impenetrable, regrettable force field surrounding the idea of The Writer, Writing, and those audacious enough to be or do either. It kills dreams, snuffs potential, and hijacks the buzz right out of the finest cocktail parties.

The Writer Mystique (TWM) is the horrible expectation – either from a Writer or One Who Converses With a Writer – that a person needs the equivalent of Stephen King’s oeuvre to employ the “Writer” title.

Victims number in the quintillions. In fact, no one who’s ever written a sentence and then paused to enjoy its unexpected cadence, content, or splendor is safe from TWM’s snooty tentacles. Take, for example…

• The Apologists. These are professional wordsmiths (Editors, Reporters, Copywriters, Technical Writers, PR Folks, and Proofreaders) who get paid to produce or know good writing, yet will wrestle you to the floor if you ever dare suggest they’re a “real” Writer. These folks usually have manuscripts squirreled away in some drawer, box, or hard drive that only a sibling or spouse knows about, if anyone does.

• The Hobbyists. Ask these people what they did last night, and they will lie to you – LIE to you! – citing early bedtime, bad TV, or voodoo potions, rather than admit they outlined a short story concept, scribbled a poem, or completed chapter 17 of a novel they’ve been writing for as many years. Funny – you can play guitar, create scrapbooks, workout, knit, make Lobster Thermadore or spend hours analyzing Fantasy Football stats, but write just for the fun of it, and you’re a time-squandering, pitiable imp. I don’t get it.

• Modicum-of-Success Writers. This is a harmless bunch, really. Harmless, that is, to everyone but themselves. To themselves, they’re demonic. They’ve achieved enough to see that making a living as a Writer is in fact possible, but not enough to mollify the panic that their success is a fluke, or a time-sensitive condition about to expire. They’re like rabid ferrets gorging on chocolate-covered espresso beans, chasing paying writing gigs up every needle-and-leaf-bearing sprout poking out of the dirt. They gush sweat at family gatherings and always have an updated “practical” résumé on file, “just in case the writing thing doesn’t work out.”

Recognize anyone – or yourself – in any of the above categories?

Yeah. Me, too.

The good news is you’re already on the road to TWM recovery, because the first step toward overcoming The Writer Mystique is recognizing it exists.

Brace yourself, though – there’s some bad news, too. I’m talking about the victims of TWM that dwell on the dark side. You can’t avoid them, and when you ARE face to face with one of them, you darn well better be able to recognize your antagonist…or you’ll be crushed like a rice cake in a blender.

But don’t go making snack mix yet, my friend – cuz I’ll serve these sadistic scoundrels up to you on a platter for full inspection – and rejection! – in a future post!

(That’s what Industry Insiders call “The Cliffhanger.” Pretty tricky, if I do say so myself.)

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? Please do! Just kindly include this blurb with it:
As “Chief Creativity Evangelist” of Epiphanies, Inc., Lani Voivod is a daily poster child for Adult ADD and all its trimmings. In between creating kids’ content on Barbie.com and launching pop diatribes via her American Midol column on DeadBrain.com, Lani aims to “tickle your inner scribe or scribber - write here, write now” with her Wild Quills Ezine!

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